On nursing a hangover
Its day four. Day three went for a longish walk and kind of never came back.
So one of my thesis readers said it "terrific" (which means the other one probably thinks its the opposite- horrific) so I was soaring from my baby victory. I decided to drink things up a notch. What a stupid idea?!
One of the many things graduate school has taught me is identifying the level and kind of hungover you are and talking yourself into recovery. Playing doctor and figuring out what combination of medication, fluids, rest, food and coffee will make you human again. With less than 30 days to Dday I couldn't afford to sleep in again or skip a day in my life. So I powered through. At the cost of my thesis of course. The key was survival and dealing with the crisis that was my Wednesday.
I woke up hating myself as I looked for an advil and water. I somehow consumed a combination of apple juice, nachos, alka-selzer and coffee until I was human again. It worked! I was amazed. Of course there was lots of self-compassion and positive self-talk as I made myself walk around the house looking for these things. It was the hardest food adventure I have ever signed up for, let me tell you. And then I spent a whole day being productive.
Unfortunately that meant I didn't get anything additional done on my thesis. I also hate that I fell a day behind on this accountability path I set myself up for. However I am back in the game with new deadlines and more determination. I am going to put down the last two days as percolation days where the ideas were just sort of sitting and brewing in my head like coffee grinds in a pot. Speaking of coffee, my bialetti has been out of order because I bought the wrong kind of coffee powder, its too fine so it keeps exploding brown water on my gas. Its awful but I am so busy I can't find the time and memory space to buy the right kind. You see? How is a graduate student supposed to function without the right kind of coffee. I truly love my morning coffee. You have no idea.
Sigh. Graduate school is the really worst. Its not me, its it.
So new goal, I am going to do a full outline opening sentences and random thoughts for all sections and then plug them all in one section at a time. So I can settle the perfectionist in me; its really kicking up a storm at this point. So to take the pressure off I decided a new approach, once again.
The update today is unclear. I might surprise myself. Here is to hoping I do.
Update from a few hours later: I did. I did make an outline and started to fill it out a little bit.
--xx--
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